Seeing God is one person’s experience and revelation about spirituality, judgment and beliefs in God and what it means to her.  Each person has her own story to tell.

Seeing God Experience


by Phaedre Suriyai Christ

seeing God image

A couple of months ago circumstances brought me for a week’s stay in Manhattan. I opened the newspaper to a New York Times book review of  The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, an Oxford University professor (in the field of “the public understanding of science”). In his book, Dawkins claims there is no God. He says “I cannot know for certain but I think God is very improbable and I live my life on the assumption that He is not there.”

The reason why this was particularly noteworthy for me is because this book review marked the first time in five years that I had read any material written for mass public consumption, i.e., newspapers, magazines, books, etc. As many yogis do, I had isolated myself from society for an extended period in order to go deeply into the mind and its connection with Spirit, deterred by as few cultural influences as possible. The trip to New York marked the beginning of a gradual re-entry. It is typical of the Absolute’s sense of humor that this particular article, claiming the nonexistence of Itself, would inaugurate my emergence from a solitude in which I perceived little other than God.

As I read the article, I thought the book was some sort of joke or hoax. I found it hard to truly believe that anyone, particularly one whose official duty was to promote intellectual public understanding of anything, especially of unseen forces, could seriously state there is no God. I felt Dawkins had to be pretending, or else he hadn’t researched too well. And then the Absolute, which communicates with us through the mind, shot me a trio of images to wake me up to the realization that not everyone shares my same perspective.

The first image that crossed the screen of my mind was a picture of a sort of faceless politician. You’ve seen the fellow I’m talking about on C-Span in clips of congressional filibusters, his head carefully pivoting from left to right, hands gesturing, mouth working non-stop. Although the image came silently through my mind, it was accompanied by a “knowingness”,  a wave of comprehension.

Spirit, I remembered in that moment, has been politicized, packaged, given a spin. In public arenas, to say one believes or doesn’t believe in a Creator categorizes you, attaches you to various agendas. In certain circles, God is an issue. Scientists and theologians have been taking stances on the Creator for centuries. And of course dealing with God as an issue dampens if not ruins the possibility of actually perceiving the subtle nature of our Source. With that one picture of a politician, given to me by Absolute Mind, it began to make sense that Dawkins might be able to do an actual in-depth search for God and not find Him.

seeing God imageThe next image which I received was a voice and a sense memory of hands filling my mouth. The hands, slim, warm, covered with rubber gloves which occasionally made a squeegee noise when they rubbed my teeth, belonged to a very friendly and talkative dentist who was performing a root canal on me. Through many routine cleanings over the years, he had told me all about his two beautiful and talented daughters, whose artwork hung on the walls above the patient chair. A root canal apparently called for more intense conversational topics.

As the dentist poked and prodded in my wide-stretched mouth, he announced that while he would love to believe there was a God, there was simply no evidence. The root canal came shortly after my first “spiritual awakening” but there were far too many fingers and tools in my mouth for me to make any attempt to explain what had become obvious to me: Spirit is everywhere. There would be no teeth for him to work on, no him to do the work, no air for us to breathe, if not for the One that had created it all.

I now recognize that the single-sided conversation was Spirit’s way of helping me to feel Its love during a challenging moment. I had walked into the dentist’s office that afternoon expecting him to extract the raspberry seed which I imagined had lodged beneath one of a full set of completely healthy teeth. An unexpected yet routine root canal turned complex as the novocaine somehow had no effect and I was obligated to undergo the procedure with no anesthetic whatsoever. As the drill lowered into my on-fire tooth, his compassionate assistant grasped my hand and held it tight. This hand is God, I wanted to shout at the dentist over the terrible noise of the drill. And I truly felt – I knew – it was God’s hand holding mine at that moment, through the assistant.

That was my first experience with the bliss that overshadows us in the midst of pain when we keep our attention on Source. It was a realization that I might not have gotten if I hadn’t had my eyes open for the Creator at that exact moment. Looking for Spirit is the number one prerequisite for seeing It, moment after moment after moment. Even if you saw unmistakable signs of God a month ago or a year ago, you could miss Her whisper today. Dawkins, I understood as Spirit flashed me that second image, would never, ever see God if he was “living [his] life on the assumption that He is not there.”

The final image that Source ran through the apparatus of my mind as I laid down the book review was of myself, a decade earlier, walking through a garden. It was the lovely garden of the house I lived in when I was just as much an atheist, a non-seer, a non-believer, as Professor Dawkins. There are no coincidences in the world of Spirit. The fact that I was then an academic, taking a break from working on my dissertation by conversing with a colleague on my cordless phone about the meaninglessness of modern life, is part of Its teaching.

Imagine an oversized red flower blooming instantaneously before your eyes… but even that image is flat compared to what really occurred that day in the garden. What oversize red flower imageactually happened is the garden came alive. What actually happened is a vague but persistent craving for meaning slashed my reality into pieces and opened up a brand new world. In an instant that I could have neither planned nor engineered with all my academic training, a veil was removed. In an instant beyond description, beyond the grasp of memory, I was moved from atheist to the path of Spirit. In one split second, I knew there was a God.

Can I judge the professor for not having received some transformative moment of grace before writing his book that would have allowed him to see the God I know? Of course not. Dawkins’ book, as is, is part of the Grand Scheme, as is this article, inspired by his book. Can I allow myself to not understand his position? Only if I’m a liar. I was there, just like him. Can I fault him for not perceiving Spirit? No more than I can fault myself for not being able to fully conjure back up the magic of that moment in the garden. And in choosing not to focus on differences, but to admit my connectedness with Professor Dawkins, I received the fruit from Mother/Father/God: a relaxing sense of freedom from having to uphold a wall of judgment in my psyche.

The reaction to the book review, the flash of three images, the gift of divine insight, took no more than a few seconds. This is one tiny facet of who God is, one miniscule example of how Spirit moves through us, an eyelash on Her face.
copyright c2007 Phaedre Christ

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About the Author: Phaedre Suriyai Christ is a yogi and writer, best known for her clear explanations of various facets of spiritual growth.

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(You may use this article for your website as long as you do not alter it and you keep the author information and author’s live links intact. For other types of publication, please contact Ms. Christ at )